Got this from an accounting website. Enjoy! 
Accountants aren’t boring people, we just get excited over boring things.
Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
Why don’t accountants count sheep to get to sleep?
Because they lose count and then take three hours to find the error.
Why don’t accountants count sheep to get to sleep?
Because they need a spreadsheet to do the calculations.
Heard at an accounting support group: “It seemed so harmless. I started making journal entries..then, secretly at home, I would post the entries to T accounts, and then I started recording them in ledgers. It just felt so good, and then I started doing financial statements and I couldn’t stop….
Why did God create actuaries?
So that accountants could think they had personality. (Lol, loved this one!)
There are only three types of accountants:
those who can count, and those who can’t.
Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he did it last year.
Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because it was in the audit plan.
Why did the auditor get run over crossing the road?
Auditors never do risk assessment well until after the accident happens.
Why did the accountant cross the road?
To bore the people on the other side.
To count the chickens.
Accountants are a lot like chickens.
To get to the other side. Accountants aren’t into humor. (Lol, here’s another one!)
What does an accountant use for birth control?
His, or her, personality. (Ouch… 
)
What is the difference between tax evasion and tax avoidance?
Jail.
Half of accounting is ninety percent correct calculations.
How do you know the financial statements are finished?
The accountant drools out of both sides of his mouth.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
Because they are good with figures.
What does CPA stand for? (This is the accounting license to practice in Australia)
Certified Public Annoyance
Can’t Pass Again
What is the proof that accountants have no imagination?
Naming a firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers. (PwC: Humongous major international accounting firm, one of the Big 4)
What is KPMG’s idea of “simple advice”(their 1998 advertising theme)?
A several hundred page guide on implementing SFAS 133 - hedge accounting for derivatives and other financial instruments. “Just like your mother’s advice”.
An auditor qualifying the accounts is like one who arrives after the battle is lost and bayonets the wounded. Of course, then the attorney arrives and strips the bodies. (Lol, liked the reparte on the lawyers on this one… And I think they meant insolvency accountants in this joke)
Unfortunately, there’s no way I could transfer your comments with them as well, so that’s a pity 
